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The Will for Learning is Gone

Written on the 4th of February in the year 2007

I have reached my limit for learning. This is my 19th year of learning out of the 22 years that I have been alive. I simply do not care about learning anything new. It’s not that I don’t care about the subject matter in my classes, I just have no will to learn left. It’s quite contrary actually, I am currently taking what is quite possibly the best class I have ever taken at tOSU, taught by the best professor I have ever had. Every minute I spend in that class I am enthralled and I wish it would last longer, but as soon as I leave the classroom, I could not care less. I understand the importance of the class - BusAdm H799 is my capstone course, still I do not care. I know taking that class seriously will turn me into the businessman I want to be, but as soon as it has to compete with Adult Swim and YouTube and the Sopranos or even doing absolutely nothing, it instantly loses.

There’s also the history class I’m taking. I have been trying to get into that class for the last two years.The professor they had for it left so they couldn’t offer it anymore and it took until now to get the professor they currently have teaching it. My professor, Lilia Fernandez, is an awesome professor, with a B.A. from Harvard and a PhD. She’s extremely reasonable and the courses deals with Chicano history. The class is great, the teacher is awesome, but I just don’t give a damn.

I am tired of paying money for things and not making any, or least not enough to suffice. I am tired of a lot of things. Everyone keeps tellin me that there’s only a little left to go (I graduate June 10) but that provides little comfort. I need to be done. I’ve done well in maintaining a high GPA and I’ll never forgive myself if I let it drop now after 4 years of work. So somehow, in someway, I have to suck it up and keep going. How in the world am I going to do that?

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